Who let all these tourists into our lovely tourist traps? France tells its 37m visitors where to go. And you’re speaking French because …? Because this is about France.

Ooh, I’m going to France on holiday as it happens. Hardly original it is the world’s most visited country. Whereabouts?

Well, I’m starting in Paris … You and more than 37 million others that’s the projection for this year.

… To take some selfies in front of Emily’s favourite haunts. Emily?

In Paris. Ah yes, of course, the much-maligned Netflix romantic drama. That’s partly to blame. So you’ll be sipping champagne in a strapless black dress in front of the Eiffel Tower?

Yes! Before heading to the Place de l’Estrapade and the Atelier des Lumières. Are you planning on going anywhere else in the country?

I’m heading up to Normandy, to somewhere called Étretrat, which has stunning cliffs. It was in another Netflix show called Lupin, which I haven’t actually seen, but it looks cool. Hmmm.

Then obviously over to Mont-Saint-Michel, which is famous for being on Instagram. Everyone goes there … Almost literally. Did you not see the pictures of the queues the other day? There were 60,000 people in one weekend.

I didn’t. Whose pictures? The Mont-Saint-Michel tourist office’s pictures.

Oh, I don’t follow them … Hang on, the tourist office, you say? It’s almost as though they’re telling people not to come. That’s exactly what they are doing.

Why? Because of overtourism.

So there are too many of us? And all in the same places: 80% of visitors focus on just 20% of the country. France is launching a campaign, aimed at British people and other foreigners, to try to get us to travel to less visited places.

Herd the Brits to the places no one wants to go? No, it’s about protecting places and their ways of life, as well as making the experience better for visitors.

How are they going to do it? A mixture of ways. There is talk of using influencers to deter people from some sites.

“Here’s a picture of me looking sad at Mont-Saint-Michel. It’s rubbish don’t come”? Well, maybe not rubbish, but crowded. So much so that Thomas Velter of the local tourist authority is talking about putting up turnstiles.

So it will feel a bit like going to a football match? What else? They are planning to use France’s embassies and consulates to spread the word.

And spread the crowds. “Vous êtes les bienvenus, mais pas ici” (“You are welcome, but not here”)? And some sites will limit numbers and introduce booking systems.

Do say: “Next time I will mainly be visiting the Parisian suburb from La Haine, followed by a tour of the industrial cities of Lorraine. In February.”

Don’t say: “Smile. Say fromage.”